Ep. 46 – The Ego Creates Drama. Guest Christie Garcia

Christie Garcia, welcome to Leading with Curiosity.

@11:10 – Christie Garcia (mindfulchoicecoaching.com)

Oh, thank you so much Nate for having me. I’m really excited to visit with you today.

@11:14 – Nate Leslie (nateleslie.ca)

You know what I’m most excited about in our conversation is that in all of the episodes to date, we have not really explored specifically the way ego influences the workplace and culture and leadership decisions.

And as our now resident ego management expert, I’d love for you to just dive right in to how this work came about and your focus of your work with clients.

@11:45 – Christie Garcia (mindfulchoicecoaching.com)

Yeah, that’s such a great question. So, you know, the first part, my focus with clients, what I love to do is to help people recognize their ego.

You know, we all have one. And unfortunately, what happens is we start to think that The ego is bad.

It’s the loud of noxious room in our person in the room. It’s the narcissist that, know, is a jerk.

And the reality is we all have an ego, whether it’s the loud, arrogant, whether it’s the quiet, passive, whether it’s the controller that just takes charge.

They all have ego tactics within them. so my goal is to help people recognize, you know, where are the ego showing up in your teams?

Where are they showing up in your relationships, in your conversations, in your ideas, in your actions? They are deeply ingrained within our mindset’s beliefs and behaviors.

so the easier or the more we know about it and make it less intimidating, the easier it is to work together, collaborate more, align more, and have really productive conversations with everybody that you interact with daily.

So that’s my big thing. How I got started is my own ego. finally learned about mine, about age 30.

And it was a really harsh reality check. know, unfortunately, I think we all. That’s actually part of the ego’s tactic.

For me, in my story, it was making me run really fast. know, my controller ego is getting to the finish line as fast as I can with the many awards and titles and success.

And so on paper, life looked perfect. It looked really great. was living really, really well. thought I was genuinely happy.

Unfortunately, my ego also is a protector type, which leaves me emotionally unavailable. And so I had a ton of friends in this really great social life.

Unfortunately, I didn’t realize that I wasn’t really contributing on the emotional part. People would come to me with their problems.

They would tell me all the things going on in their life. But if someone was to ask like, what’s going on with Christie, very few people would actually like, no, they wouldn’t realize they didn’t know until that question got asked.

And was like, oh, I think she’s really good. She’s always busy. She’s always doing something fun. But there was not a lot of stuff.

So that conversation, I actually had a fall, which is what made me realize that that ego was loud and proud of my world.

And I was starting to recognize that I was going to be that person that was scared to death to be.

At the time I was in medical cells and I walked the halls of the hospitals. And unfortunately, there’s a lot of people that are sick and dying in hospitals by themselves.

And that really was a sad story to me. I didn’t understand it coming from a big family. And I would talk to these people, know, why are you here by yourself?

Where’s your family? And most of the stories that I heard were consistent. I worked a lot. I, you know, worked so hard to provide for my family.

They were gone by the time I was retired or whatever the story was. always had to do with I didn’t put enough time and energy into my family life.

Tons of success on the business side. They were able to provide financially for their family. But unfortunately, that story of connection and really giving people what they want, which is.

Human interaction in time, that was missing. And at the time, I just thought that was a really sad story.

Most of it was, you know, six-year-old men who it’s like, I come from a divorced family. was just a normal story.

But it was sad. At 30, I was a single female working my career, making, you know, climbing the ladder.

And I realized I was living that life. It wasn’t dating. There was no sign of, you know, marriage or family in my future.

I hadn’t bought a house. And it was like, wow, I am setting myself up for that. That is going to be my story.

If I do not learn to balance, I can be successful at work and home. really recognizing how to make that happen and led me to learning about the egos and how they do sabotage are good intentions because they have us move fast, think fast and, you know, work fast so that we do not stop long enough to know where do we need to improve?

Where do we need to create balance in our leadership in our life?

@16:00 – Nate Leslie (nateleslie.ca)

Projecting good intentions, the protector, the controller. I’m going to be selfish on behalf of the listeners and just ask you to catch.

Share with us what we need to know about what is the ego. have a sense you’re going to be able to describe it in words that we can understand and then we can kind of dive back into some of those roles that it’s playing in controller and protector.

@16:23 – Christie Garcia (mindfulchoicecoaching.com)

So what’s the ego? Absolutely. the ego is really simple. It’s our unconscious brain. We all have it. We all show up with it 99% of the time.

We’re unconsciously going through the motions, which means that the ego is technically making our decisions, the good ones and the bad ones.

And so just recognizing are you intentionally showing up in your world, making choices, having conversations, or are you just going through the motions?

And neither one is wrong. It’s just a question. Are you intentional? And so that’s the simplest version of the ego that I like to use.

There is the controller, the protector, and then also the Complyr is the third one. The complier is the people pleaser.

They are motivated by being liked. They want to make sure everyone is okay. It’s where we have our compassion.

It’s where we are warm and inviting and we’re a good team player and we think about other people’s needs.

Unfortunately, when we overuse that ego, it starts to hold us back. We struggle to hold people accountable. We don’t tell people the truth because we don’t want to hurt their feelings.

So we avoid conflict or confrontation. It’s really hard to give feedback and make a decision because, again, we don’t want to upset anybody.

want to avoid any emotional response as possible. Stay on the good side. Like to follow rules. Seeking permission validation and approval keeps me safe and so making sure that we’re always just kind of playing an even playing field.

Not much highs or lows here. Although, it’s sabotages are good. So even though that’s in our head, we’re thinking we’re not making much higher low.

The reality is that passiveness actually creates a lot more drama in our life. So leaders who lead from this place tend to struggle with some of the achieving, the tangible teething, decision making, delegation, speaking up and telling people what you want and need, having boundaries, know, over-committing all of those fun things.

So that’s where the complier gets held back. The protector is where our truth lives, our values, our integrity, our courageous authenticity, being able to speak up even when we know someone’s not going to like it, being able to stand by our values.

People know it’s not common. And also this is where we love the deepest, you know, so unfortunately that protector, because we love the deepest here, we care the most authentically.

It’s where integrity lives. It also allows us to. Get really hurt. And so these, these egos get designed at a young age.

And what happens is we get to be, you know, we get hurt, we get disappointed. Someone teaches us it’s not safe to feel.

And so the protector who loves really deeply when they’re younger, they usually start to realize, oh, it’s not safe to love that, that much.

And so they start to build up that for knocks walk and they start to build the barriers around them.

And so unfortunately, when they start getting older and leading or Or building relationships, they have a really thick wall around them, which makes it hard for them to maybe connect or be relatable.

They can also give them a very black and white view of the world because they, they line around values.

They’re either all in or they’re all out. They love or they, they like it or they don’t. Right. And so it’s a very black and white energy that comes from them.

have to teach them how to define the gray and everything so that they can just kind of be cool, common, collective.

That’s actually one of their biggest strengths is staying cool, calm, collected under pressure. If something goes south, we want them on the stranded island with us because they can really think through pressure because they are unattached to the emotion.

Unfortunately, when we’re talking about leadership, that can really create more confrontation. It can make you stubborn. can come across as unrelatable or arrogant.

So a lot of times the narcissist people are talking about really falls into that protector ego time. Very unintentional.

And then the controller is motivated. Oh, so the protectors motivate about being right. They have worth in value if they’re right, which is why they tend to be a little more confrontational.

They have to prove their worth. So if they’re wrong, then that really is where they start to beat themself up and they start to try to prove themselves more.

So the controller is motivated by being the best in winning, getting to the finish line first, how quickly, how fast.

Unfortunately with that, The other thing that you’ll notice with controllers, a lot of charisma, lot of energy, lot of passion, they get people on the bandwagon like, yeah, big cheerleaders.

Unfortunately, that energy moves with them. So if they don’t learn how to ground it, it doesn’t always stay. So a lot of times controllers will realize that they’re in a boardroom.

Everybody’s like, yeah, yeah, let’s do that. You leave the room. No one’s followed up. No one’s holding themselves accountable to the task or the goal, and the controller gets incredibly disappointed and frustrated.

And it’s because the team controller did the cheer, they got everybody excited, but then they took all that energy with them.

And so they have to slow down. They’re on a freight train. if that freight train, it moves fast, it takes fast, it acts fast, and it doesn’t slow down for its passengers.

And unfortunately, if you’re not getting your team to the finish line with you, most often you’re going to be by yourself, right?

@21:51 – Nate Leslie (nateleslie.ca)

And whether we’re talking at work or whether we’re talking at home, you don’t win if your team is not at the finish line with you.

@21:58 – Christie Garcia (mindfulchoicecoaching.com)

And so controllers really I have to learn how to be a better team player, how to delegate, how to trust others, how to be capable, believe that others are capable just as they are.

And so that’s really where they have growth and value tag.

@22:12 – Nate Leslie (nateleslie.ca)

Yeah. So I’m hearing, you comply her protector, controller, and all of these, there’s benefit. And the term that’s coming to mind for me right now from a previous episode is unintended diminishing behaviors that there are these parts of our ego pushed too far can work against us.

Yeah. Tell me your reaction to that.

@22:34 – Christie Garcia (mindfulchoicecoaching.com)

Absolutely. So in the perfect world, you know, our best self uses all three of the ego types. We can be the compassion, caring leader from the complier.

We can, you know, our truth and speak wisdom and be courageous from the protector. And we can get the results and get everybody to finish line with us, right?

that’s best self. Unfortunately, what happens if we overuse one or two of our Dominated Ecos, which is typically what happens.

We miss out on being our best self and our worst self can show up. I would say there’s about a sweet spot about 33%.

We can use each one at 33%. We’re usually getting its best qualities. When we start to cross over that line, that’s when we really start to see the overuse.

You’re now trying to take care of me first. the ego works and I must be right. I must be liked.

must win. When we can use it at 33%, you’re consciously trying to manage it back, which makes sure we, we are liked.

We are right. We would. It starts to get more into that creative brain. That’s more intentional and leadership-based.

@23:40 – Nate Leslie (nateleslie.ca)

I like that because we talked about right from the start, the unconscious brain and trying to find balance of 33% of each is making a conscious decision.

What is it time for in this moment and being able to catch our side? That’s the only outcome, right?

@24:20 – Christie Garcia (mindfulchoicecoaching.com)

You cannot manage your ego if you don’t have the self-awareness and that conscious brain active. Step one to ego management is self-awareness.

What are my thoughts, behaviors, and beliefs that are impacting this decision or this action? And then from there, taking full ownership of it.

If someone comes to you and says, hey, really doesn’t feel right, or you are being a jerk, or you start noticing the room is shutting down, that awareness is one thing.

But now you take ownership, like my impact, my unintentional impact created that impact. Whether it was our intention or not, you know, lot of times like, why didn’t mean for that to happen, but there’s no follow up account ability.

So instead of just saying, I didn’t mean for that to happen, it’s more of like, wow, that wasn’t my intention.

Let’s re-start. Let’s re-phrase this or let’s start over. now it can be a, that was not my intention. I’m really sorry that that’s how it made you feel.

Let’s talk through this and look at it from this bigger outcome versus the drama that it created because the ego creates a drama.

@25:24 – Nate Leslie (nateleslie.ca)

loves drama, it thrives there.

@25:25 – Christie Garcia (mindfulchoicecoaching.com)

And as soon as one ego shows up, it actually triggers all the other egos in the room. And so someone has to be conscious enough to manage those egos back.

And most likely it has to be the leader of the room in order to manage their own ego because that’s most likely the one that’s going to trigger people first.

@25:44 – Nate Leslie (nateleslie.ca)

If the title of this episode ended up, the ego creates drama, would that be a, would that be a very free drama?

@25:51 – Christie Garcia (mindfulchoicecoaching.com)

The ego loves this drama, yes.

@25:53 – Nate Leslie (nateleslie.ca)

Okay. Okay. Cool. So let’s make this practical if you don’t mind. So a lot of my clients are. Well, I see a couple of your past clients names.

People might recognize like Airbnb, Twitter. So let’s say we’ve got somewhere between 500 and, I don’t know, 1000 employees.

They’ve got a budget to bring in Christie. Where does it start and where does it go?

@26:18 – Christie Garcia (mindfulchoicecoaching.com)

Like, Leo, what you could do for a client in this context. Well, it’s such a great question. thank you for asking that.

You know, there’s a couple different options. So I’ve one designed a leadership academy about 10 years ago. We’ve been successfully running it for the last eight years.

And it’s great because we can do the top down. We put everybody through it. The executive team all the way down to first line management.

And what I love about this the most is that you start to see a common language when a whole leadership team has the same language around the ego.

You have people walking in the room be like, Hey, I think I triggered your ego.

@26:51 – Nate Leslie (nateleslie.ca)

wow, I know you’re a protector.

@26:53 – Christie Garcia (mindfulchoicecoaching.com)

I’m going to start using language that you can hear because it’s just simple twist, twist to how we use our words.

You are a controller protector who moves fast, thinks fast, pretty emotionally unattached to things. going to come in and you’re going to be a little more direct.

You’re going to, I shouldn’t say little, you’re going to be a lot more direct. going to be more like task first people second.

If you’re talking to someone who is a compiler protector, they not only need to hear why do this matter to the people, but they also need to hear the facts that go with it and know why this is right and fair.

And so if you’re only talking tasks, you’ve lost them. You’ve sure. Trigger their ego and they’re going to think you’re a jerk or they’re not going to like the play.

And so when you can know that about who you’re talking to, now you can start to change your language.

Like, hey, we’re going to do this. And this is going to work really well for the team. this is why.

And this is the outcome we’re going to get. And now that you’ve piqued their ears because you’ve told them, why does this matter?

Or, hey, this isn’t going to add a lot of work to your schedule. I just need you to do X, Y, and Z in order for us to impact the marketing teams effects efficacy or whatever.

It puts in a bigger why to the conversation that allows everybody to manage their own ego without you having to necessarily say, let’s manage your ego.

@28:12 – Nate Leslie (nateleslie.ca)

It’s reminding me to treat others as you want to be treated. Isn’t as useful in leadership as treat others the way they want to be treated?

Communicate with others the way they need to be communicated to. Just because I’m a protector by, I’m probably more on the supplier, just because that’s me, doesn’t mean I can just show up as me in those environments.

Who’s in the room and what do they need to be the most effective possible?

@28:47 – Christie Garcia (mindfulchoicecoaching.com)

Yes, most definitely, because you’ll definitely take care of the the complier, protectors in the room if that’s your ego type.

It’ll be the controller or the protector controllers that you’re missing. And the reason for us is because they’re… More direct, like less word, less fluff.

Tell me what I need to do.

@29:04 – Nate Leslie (nateleslie.ca)

Tell me the deadline and I’ll make it happen.

@29:06 – Christie Garcia (mindfulchoicecoaching.com)

Yeah, you’re supplier.

@29:07 – Nate Leslie (nateleslie.ca)

You’re supplier, right?

@29:08 – Christie Garcia (mindfulchoicecoaching.com)

Yeah, absolutely. They want just the highest level of details and the most important information. Complyers, on the other hand, they want all the details.

They want all the permission, all the validation. And they really want to be told, yes, that’s a great plan.

you can go do it versus the controllers. don’t tell me what to do. Just tell me the outcome you want me to accomplish and I will make that happen.

So, you know, I think just knowing those little tweaks makes such a massive shift. Now, with that being said, learning how to coach the opposite.

If you’re a supplier and you’re working with a controller who thinks they don’t need any direction, that’s a problem too, right?

And so this teaches the supplier how to speak more directly to that controller, how to give them feedback to where you’re not constantly triggering it, to where the compiler wants to sugarcoat feedback.

And so it’s so sugar-coded or so sandwiched in love that the message is missed. Sometimes with that controller, you just have to flat out say, hey, I get it.

You’re good at your job. You know what you’re doing. I need you to do X, Y, and Z. And that’s it.

Point blank. I don’t need it. I don’t need to justify it. don’t need to talk them into it. It’s on your box.

This needs to happen. Now, I would not recommend that ever to a controller or protector. They have to sugarcoat.

They need to add some of that sprinkle that the supplier does so well. And so again, just teaching people when their own their own impact.

So I think that’s the hardest thing. No one intentionally is too direct. No one intentionally is too passive. No one intentionally wants to have someone’s feelings.

And so when we can just recognize, hey, this is your unintentional impact. These are unconscious behaviors. And now we’ve surfaced it.

It’s really hard to turn your head to something you’re aware of. It makes it much easier. Once we know how we are showing up and what our impact is to the end, oh, I really don’t want to show up that way anymore.

And I did just see it happen in real time. And now we can change. So back to the implementation of this from executives to first line management.

@31:27 – Nate Leslie (nateleslie.ca)

I imagine there’s some, yeah, what happens, what happens next once you’ve identified who’s in the program?

@31:35 – Christie Garcia (mindfulchoicecoaching.com)

Great, great question. once we know who’s in the program, we put them through a six to 12 month program, depending on what the organization wants to do.

With that comes live monthly coaching. There’s an online platform that comes with it, so lots of content delivered throughout the week, so that simple bite size though, you know, we’re talking 10 minutes a day or an hour a week as all we ask people to commit to this stuff to be more conscious and aware.

And then once a month we do Do a workshop or we can do it twice a month depending on again what the company wants to invest in.

And then ideally you get some individual coaching involved as well to be able to customize it to each individual.

And what I love the most is before we start all the content is we dig into a 360 assessment that really identifies, you know, what, one where the current leader is at, what is their perception of their own impact and then what’s the perception of everybody around them.

You know what I love is to use that term perception because lot of times you get an assessment tool and it’s like, oh, this is just how you are, deal with it.

And or someone else has to learn to deal with it because it’s just how you are. I hate that language.

I don’t think that language is helpful and it’s definitely, it actually strokes the ego and it gets people permission to make bad choices.

Where when we can say, no, this is the perception. Perception is truth or is reality but it’s not truth, right?

And so when we can just accept this is the perception. If you like this perception of your impact, great.

This is not the impact you’re trying to create, then we need to change the perception. so it gives people, it empowers people to choose and empowers people to then take control of their ego and control their own brain so the ego is not controlling it for them.

And that’s really what I like about it. So once we get this assessment tool, it’s kind of like a self awareness image, and we get to say, okay, this is your current impact.

This is where you think you are. This is where others see you at. So this is the self awareness gap.

@33:25 – Nate Leslie (nateleslie.ca)

And now we get to start bridging that gap through that six to 12-month plan. Well it’s a lot of psychometric tools that are self-assessments to your point, perceptions.

There’s somewhere between zero and 100% accurate. But usually there’s a 360 where you’re gathering data from others is really powerful.

What’s the tool if I may ask?

@33:48 – Christie Garcia (mindfulchoicecoaching.com)

I use the leadership circle.

@33:50 – Nate Leslie (nateleslie.ca)

Oh, I thought so. thought that…

@33:52 – Christie Garcia (mindfulchoicecoaching.com)

Okay, right on.

@33:54 – Nate Leslie (nateleslie.ca)

Excellent. yeah, because you get that overused. Drinks that I was talking about and I heard you use courageous authenticity earlier.

@34:04 – Christie Garcia (mindfulchoicecoaching.com)

So, circle as well.

@34:07 – Nate Leslie (nateleslie.ca)

So, I’m not certified in it, but I do believe it’s the next certification that I use and my mentor is really, really committed to it.

So, yeah, for the listeners, a little bit about that because it’s super powerful.

@34:20 – Christie Garcia (mindfulchoicecoaching.com)

Yeah, the leadership circle. It was originally designed at the executive MBA program of Notre Dame. So, very heavy educational based originally.

And they have applied it to so many different organizations at this point around the globe. But what I love the most is that they have taken over 600 different assessment tools and look at all of them.

what’s working, what’s not working in the behavioral personality test, emotional intelligence, and then competencies. And so, what they then did is they took all that information and turned it into a really useful tool, not just like this is a cool fund tool.

I’m trying the thing to do with your… I’m not saying all other assessments are like, I don’t want to sound judgy on that, but they’ve just made this so much more intense.

It’s not your cheaper $50 assessment tool. You’re going to get a 14 page assessment booklet that deep dives into every single or I mean 150 page assessment book that deep dives into every single behavior or personality mindset that could actually show up.

But my favorite thing is, again, one is all perceptions. Everything long, it can be changed. Two, you have to partner with coaching.

They won’t even let you give it to somebody unless it’s a committed three months of coaching because it’s that in depth on language.

And four, my favorite part is it shows you both your reactive tendencies, where you are overusing them. And then also the creative half of the chart is where you are intentionally creating great leadership.

Now, I think what happens through all of us is that it, oh, and, So the other thing is because it takes the competencies, the emotional intelligence, and the personality test, it actually tells you on there, this is what you do.

This is how you do it. And my favorite part is this is why you do it. The why is where people can change it.

We don’t change anything unless we know why we do it. And when we can start to get into the behaviors, beliefs, mindsets around it, and those internal assumptions, now you can actually start to shift behavior because it’s And oh, I don’t think I’m worthy.

That’s why I’m, you know, saying yes when I want to say no. And so you can really start digging into those really quickly.

The other really great thing about the tool is it then tells you exactly how to change it. If you’re low in one category, this is the category you need to grow.

And there’s very specific behaviors and tools and things you can apply immediately to change that behavior tomorrow. So it’s very instant.

@36:58 – Nate Leslie (nateleslie.ca)

Leadership circle has eaten. Influenced a lot of it’s so powerful. It’s influenced a lot of my work without even using it and being sort of by that, you know, from leadership effectiveness being the ability to enhance the capabilities of everyone around you to courage yourself, and to city.

I’ve been working on it for years since my methods are walk me through even justice self assessment, right? Oh my gosh, I love it.

If I can use an example that people understand. That’s why I sensed I was on the complier side is I love it when the room is getting along like nothing fires me up more than harmony and everything is wrong.

And then when that one person is bringing that other ego into the room, the only person that is happy, I’m not addressing the main issue is the person causing the issue, right?

So that’s my, my, where my desire for harmony conflicts with my need to lean in. I’ll see

@38:00 – Christie Garcia (mindfulchoicecoaching.com)

I’ve been working on it for two years.

@38:02 – Nate Leslie (nateleslie.ca)

I love that that’s where this conversation went and that, gosh, it was such an eye-opener for me. This was early in my coaching journey of this reactive tendencies and the reuse strengths.

@38:17 – Christie Garcia (mindfulchoicecoaching.com)

Anything to add to my analogy to that? No, I think you nailed it. I think that’s one of the big things for the compliers is when you avoid conflict.

One your biggest opportunities for growth is when to build your confidence up to trust that you have value to add and that you’re emotionally strong enough to deal with conflict.

It doesn’t matter. can face those hard conversations. They actually never go as bad as that ego wants to make you think.

Just doing the hard thing and trusting yourself that you can handle it. I think part of it too is trusting others can handle it.

@38:55 – Nate Leslie (nateleslie.ca)

One of the things that tell clients, I’m sorry, go ahead. Nope, you go.

@38:58 – Christie Garcia (mindfulchoicecoaching.com)

I think one of the I tell compliers, I have kind of these little tidbits and easy things to tell clients, but for the compliers specifically, one easy way to help manage that ego back when you become aware of it is, you know, so often we don’t tell people the hard thing because we don’t want hurt their feelings.

We don’t tell people their feedback because we don’t want to hurt their feelings. And when you can think about it in a way, it’s actually a really, really selfish tactic.

Because if you are doing something that wasn’t meeting expectations, that was hurting somebody else, that wasn’t meeting, you know, simple standards, would you want to know?

Or would you want someone to protect you because they want to hurt your feelings? Right? And so it’s like turning the belief system around.

That’s what the ego does. It has these sabotaging beliefs that’s like, oh, I’ve heard their feelings. I really don’t want to tell them.

It’s like, no, that’s about you because any normal human wants to grow and be better. And so being able to just say, oh, wait, I’m doing this just.

Now, how you deliver it is whether it’s ego-driven or not. If you deliver from a place of care and a place of growth and connection with the intention to make this other person better or with the intention to make the situation better and it’s nothing about you, now it’s not selfish at all, right?

just put something other. They may not be able to receive it and I think that’s a trick too often our ego wants to hold on to how people receive our information.

When we let go of how it’s received, let go of the attachment of what needs to happen, let go of the result and just say, you know what, this is the wisdom I can offer as a greater higher level viewpoint, not from my ego standpoint.

I can now go to bed and say, I shouldn’t have done more. Too often we feel bad and then when we get that nagging feeling inside of us, that’s because usually we didn’t speak our courageous authenticity.

We didn’t speak our truth in those moments. We didn’t hold our own integrity and our protector ego is going, hey, what happened?

Why did you hold back today? And then we beat ourselves up.

@41:01 – Nate Leslie (nateleslie.ca)

You know, this is so great because when I went through that process, it was really early in my coaching journey, just coming out of my coach training, I guess.

some of the things I’ve learned in the meantime are how to deliver feedback well, how to come from a place of caring.

I feel like it’s time to measure my courageous authenticity again, a lot has changed. And so the connection I’m making right now, is the importance of leaders to understand that feedback to give people want to be better.

And you’re actually in disservice to your team by avoiding. And there are absolutely tactical, tangible ways of going about these things that can have massive impact on how we are perceived and sorry on the impact that we have as leaders,

When we work on ourselves and we can be better, look how in service to the group that that really is, right?

@42:07 – Christie Garcia (mindfulchoicecoaching.com)

Yes. And it gives everybody permission to show up and you start to create an environment that encourages that mentality of improvement.

You know, the mindful choice, our motto is be 1% better every day, like just 1%. The ego wants you to be 50% better.

It wants you to be 100% better. It wants you to go to the gym 8 days week and you’ve never been for a month or six years, right?

It’s so over the top. when we can just simplify, it’s one simple thing every day. might be having that difficult conversation.

@42:40 – Nate Leslie (nateleslie.ca)

It’s even less than 1% even less than a conversation.

@42:42 – Christie Garcia (mindfulchoicecoaching.com)

It’s an interaction. It’s choosing to have the conversation. And that’s really what it is. It’s that first step to empower you or anybody else on your team to just be 1% better.

What is that little thing that you can do? it’s, you know, and doing it for all your roles, how can you be a better person?

Or boss, how can you be a better leader? How can you be a better team member? How can you be a better friend?

Community member, spouse, parents, simple thing. It doesn’t take a lot. It just takes intention and it takes a car just for him to do it.

@43:13 – Nate Leslie (nateleslie.ca)

For me, I started to ask myself, what’s that stick if I don’t address this?

@43:18 – Christie Garcia (mindfulchoicecoaching.com)

That’s a good question.

@43:20 – Nate Leslie (nateleslie.ca)

Yeah, and.

@43:21 – Christie Garcia (mindfulchoicecoaching.com)

Yeah.

@43:25 – Nate Leslie (nateleslie.ca)

Christie, this has been really great. love we’ve explored. I have a story. stronger understanding of what the ego is, the fact that it connects to the leadership circle and how that’s influenced me.

If people want to look that up to dip their toe in the water, they have some great resources. Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, but let’s tell the listeners more about where they can find you. in Central California, and where can they find you?

would you like our listeners to know about working with you?

@43:54 – Christie Garcia (mindfulchoicecoaching.com)

Yeah, so if you’re interested in learning more about the Mindful Choice Leadership Academy, or I do a lot of executive

And coaching for founders and co-founders as well. And so they can find me at mindfulchoiceacademy.com. They can find me on LinkedIn, Christie Garcia, C-H-R-I-S-D-I-E.

And yeah, send me a message. would love to connect. if you’re not interested in working with me, just learning more about the egos, this work is for all of us.

We live in a time where we are in an ego-driven world. And the more we can get people to talk about the egos and where they’re showing up in our lives.

The less stress, the less emotions, the less drama, we can all experience on a daily basis. I think the one thing I’d love to lead your listeners with is just to remember the ego keeps you busy.

It wants you to feel overwhelmed and stressed out and busy all the time. It makes you feel important when you’re busy or stressed out more overwhelmed.

And so when you can slow down and recognize Where are you over committing? Where are you worried about things you can’t control?

Where are you having these drama situations show up when they’re just not important? You know, you ask the question, what happens if you don’t do this?

Well, another question to follow up with, think about the things that really wouldn’t matter if you got hit by a bus this afternoon.

What in your day do you do? doesn’t really matter if you got You got hit by bus this afternoon.

Stop doing those things. Like we feel our day with so much stuff that’s not important. And when we can start just doing the real priorities, like go back to prioritizing your list instead of making everything a priority and everything is an urgent fire drill and everything needed to be done yesterday.

And so we just feel stress and overwhelmed. Stop doing that. It’s not healthy and it’s an ego driven unconscious mindset.

And when you can take back that control, you will think clear, there’ll be more intentional in your conversations. Things that matter versus worrying about the things that don’t, that typically lead to more drama.

@46:09 – Nate Leslie (nateleslie.ca)

Great message. Perfect place to end it. Christie Garcia, thank you for your time.

@46:14 – Christie Garcia (mindfulchoicecoaching.com)

Thanks for having me, Nate. It’s a pleasure.